Power"Fall"

Last night, outta the blue, Driftin’ off to the evening news, She said, "Honey, what would you do

If you’d have never met me, "I just laughed, said "I don’t know, But I could take a couple guesses though", And then tried to dig real deep, Said, "Darling honestly...

I’d do a lot more offshore fishin’, I’d probably eat more drive-thru chicken, Take a few strokes off my golf game, If I’d have never known your name, I’d still be driving that old green ‘Nova, I probably never would have heard of yoga, I'd be a better football fan, But if I was a single man, Alone and out there on the loose, Well I’d be looking for a woman like you."

I could tell that got her attention, So I said, "Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, I wouldn’t trade a single day, For 100 years the other way." She just smiled and rolled her eyes, Cause she’s heard all of my lines, I said, "C’mon on girl, seriously, If I hadn’t been so lucky, I’d be..

Shootin’ pool in my bachelor pad, Playing bass in my cover band, Restocking up cold Bud Light, For poker every Tuesday night, yeah, I’d have a dirt bike in the shed, And not one throw pillow on the bed, I’d keep my cash in a coffee can, But if I was a single man, Alone and out there on the loose, Well I’d be looking for a woman like you."

She knows what a mess I’d be if I didn’t have her here, But to be sure, I whispered in her ear, "You know I get sick deep-sea fishin’, And you make the best fried chicken, I got a hopeless golf game, I love the sound of your name, I might miss that old green ‘Nova, But I love watchin’ you do yoga, I’d take a gold band on my hand, Over being a single man, Cause honestly I don’t know what I’d do,

If I’d never met a woman like you." (latest country song obsession...)

View of Manhattan across the Hudson

We are officially in FALL!! Back in Utah, that meant 3 weeks of changing leaves, wearing a down vest over a long sleeve shirt and hitting up ski swaps / online shopping the latest UGG boots. Life in NYC is slightly different. We still have some 80 degree days, the grass is still green, we experience some intense rain storms (still hurricane season) and quilted equestrian jackets is the outerwear of choice.

I realized on my way to work this morning, that Fall fulfills some pretty serious cravings I have. As a young child, I frequently hung around the kitchen, snatching the butter tub and eating butter from off my fingers. As an adult, I've had to find less direct ways to feed my butter craving. Enter, baking, which uses large quantities of sumptuously soft butter cleverly turned into something socially acceptable to eat with fingers, like cookies. Recently, I have discovered "brown butter" recipes, which is like melted butter (YUM!) cooked to the point that it has almost a caramel taste. HEAVENLY, there's no other way to describe it. Then there's the pumpkin cravings. I love carving pumpkins, pureeing pumpkin, baking pumpkin, pumpkin jam and as my amazing sister in law Jenny showed me, drinking pumpkin. Run to the nearest Starbucks and order a "pumpkin steamer" and see if it doesn't change life as you know it. But what if you could combine two intense cravings and serve it up together?! Enter "brown butter pumpkin cupcakes" which not only contain brown butter mixed with pumpkin puree for a cupcake, but then there's the brown butter frosting on TOP. I made them as mini cupcakes, so it's acceptable to eat more than one without worrying about thunder thighs or blocked arteries.

But while butter and pumpkin cravings can come on strong, nothing quite compares to the craving I get when I realize it's Fall, and that General Conference is right around the corner!! This past week, the questions started pouring into my mind - what will they discuss? Will there be a common theme? Will I receive some answers to my prayers?? The other night I was watching the "best of" Ted talks, and while some were pretty good and gave me a different view and way of thinking about things like achievement, General Conference makes Ted talks look like sharing time for 5 year olds.

Lately, I've felt like I've been asking for a lot of help on important aspects of my life while struggling to get direct answers and it has been making me so impatient and frustrated. I had this certain, resolute feeling that these answers and direction would come during conference. Sure enough, there were 4 talks that spoke directly to the concerns and questions that have kept me so preoccupied:

• Selective obedience brings selective blessings; establish an attitude of ongoing, joyful repentance; acknowledge and face your weaknesses but don't be immobilized by them, no matter what your current status. (Jorg Klebingat)
• I don't know exactly how each of you should fulfill your obligation to those who do not or cannot always help themselves. But I know that God knows, and he will help you and guide you in compassionate discipleship if you are conscientiously wanting and praying and looking for ways to keep a commandment he has given us again, and again. (Elder Holland)
• We are able to understand peace, because we feel turmoil; as you exercise that agency and include [God] in every aspect of your daily life, your heart will begin to feel peace, buoyant peace. That peace will focus an enternal light on your struggles, it will help you to manage those challenges from an eternal perspective; don't say that you don't have time to study the scriptures, choose to take time to study them, feasting on the word of God each day is more important than sleep - you may need to reorganize your priorities to provide time for the study of the word of God - if so, do it. As you dedicate time every day to study God's word, peace will prevail in your life. Be cautious not just to make your family home evening an afterthought after a busy day the structure of your evening is not as important as the time invested. These are the very practices that help take away stress, give direction to our lives and add protection to our homes; the temple is one of the best places to understand the power of the atonement of Jesus Christ, seek him there. (Elder Scott)
• We all experience moments of great decision in our lives; sometimes a small change in the direction of our lives and have significant future consequences; President Uchtdorf has said "through years of serving the Lord, I have learned that the difference between happiness and misery in individuals, in marriages, in families, often comes down to an error of only a few degrees. How can we avoid these small errors? Will the blessings promised in your patriarchal blessing be fulfilled? I read it from time to time, but never with the intent of looking towards the blessings promised in the future, and evaluating how I was living in the present. If we continue to live as we are living, will the promised blessings be fulfilled? It was not a decision between what was right and what was wrong, but between what was good and what was better. We need to consider our options with the end in mind. Understanding who we are, why we are here, and what the Lord expects from us, will give us the broader vision we need. We need to be prepared for the challenges that will come - the best paths in life are rarely the easiest. We are not here in this life just to waste our time, grow old, and die. God wants us to grow and achieve our potential.  (Carlos A. Godoy)

Fall bike riding along the Hudson

Perhaps it's the leaves changing that makes me yearn for my own kind of changes to make in my life, but sometimes the hardest part is these little stumbling blocks of knowing which and what kinds of positive changes to make. General Conference is like attending a self-esteem course on how to get back in touch with "me", how to understand my divine nature, and how to fully realize my potential to overcome the stumbling blocks in my way. It's knowledge and power, with a formula for achieving my individual destiny, if I so choose.

Here's to less sleep, more studying, and growing not just in age, but in achievements. The "power" of Fall.

Lo

Look who's translating at conference!

Just Do It

“I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must DO.”-Leonardo da Vinci

Jay-Z says "if you can make it here you can make it anywhere," and sometimes I absolutely believe that's true. New Yorkers are an ambitious lot, you'd think the tennis courts would be empty at 7 AM on a Saturday morning when people are sleeping off long weeks and bar contents from the night before, but no. It was over an hour wait! Ah well. I did get in an amazing night of tennis earlier this week. The stars were out, the air was cool, and skyscrapers lit up behind us as we ran ourselves all over the court.

What determines our actions in life? Is it desires? Fears? Guilt? Religion? If I were to make a list of my biggest fears, number one is I am terrified that I won't live up to my potential. The crux of my decisions revolve around this, am I capable of more? Am I doing everything I should? I guess you could say this was my theme this week, I thought about it a lot. I usually don't listen to rock music but an old song came on my ipod, and I found myself listening to the lyrics:

"My best friend gave me the best advice, he said each day's a gift and not a given right. Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind, and try to take the path less traveled by. That first step you take is the longest stride. If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late, could you say goodbye to yesterday? Would you live each moment like your last, leave old pictures in the past, donate every dime you had? And would you call those friends you never see, reminisce old memories, would you forgive your enemies? And would you find that one you're dreaming of, swear up and down to God above, that you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day? If today was your last day, would you make your mark by mending a broken heart? You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars, regardless of who you are. So do whatever it takes, cause you can't rewind a moment in this life. Let nothing stand in your way, cause the hands of time are never on your side."

An answer to my biggest fear came Friday night. Elder Jay E. Jensen of the seventy came to speak at a fireside, and he shared a moment in his life when he wondered the same things I've been wondering. As he put it, "What am I doing or not doing that isn't producing?" I could have hugged him right then. He found his answer when he pulled open his scriptures and found himself reading D&C 3:5, which says among other things, "remember also the promises which were made to you." Elder Jensen tied it to President Uchtdorf's talk, Forget Me Not. Uniting the two, Elder Jensen said "remember the promises which were made to you, that they will forget you not." He talked about the promises, specific and individual that have been made to each of us, that are the answers to living up to our potential. Sometimes the best answers are the ones that have been in front of you the entire time, so simple and just what I needed to hear. Notes from his talk will be uploaded shortly on my other blog.

I count myself lucky to be from a family of total overachievers, they are constantly inspiring me with ways that I can better my life and live up to my potential. This week, Chloe graduated from high school, a year early, and I couldn't be more proud of her or excited to see the amazing things she will be accomplishing! I sent her this photo from Christmas, offering my congratulations and love.

WAY TO GO CHLO! We are taking over the nation's capital this week, and it's going to be epic.

We're halfway through 2012, and for me the question is still there, every day. How Will You Make It Count? By working hard each hour, each day, each month and each year, to make my potential a reality.

What If?

"What" and "If" are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life: What if? What if? What if?... You need only the courage to follow your heart. -Letters to Juliet

I suppose that I'm a hopeless romantic, but I think it goes much deeper than that. I hope. And then I work using my conviction to make those hopes become a reality. I would say that 90 percent of the time, I am working hard, motivating myself and others to keep trying, keep reaching and hopefully succeeding. I'm by no means an expert. I just....hope. I once read that nothing is ever by chance or luck....even if you think it is, it's not. It is by sheer effort and will, that it happens. Two things struck me this week...one that I am exhausted, more mentally than physically, and that I'm losing that shining hope. Secondly, my brother Pete can take credit for this one...how you pray. I confess that this has escaped my notice as of late. The problem with living in a city that moves quickly, is that I tend to focus on the fastest way to get something I want, and then bulldoze my way to get there. If you were to add up all of the many talents God has given me...you'd find that among those patience is almost nonexistent. Hence the bulldozing.

Peter shared this story about a woman that had been praying and praying to get a new husband. The sheer boldness of it made me kind of laugh. But Peter's point, which I think every therapist, psychologist, marriage counselor will tell you, is that rather than praying for a new husband, she should be praying for help to love her husband, and hope that her love will be returned. In fairness, I think I have been praying lately the exact same way....asking for things in a way that requires no work on my part and asking for the wrong things. Pete's point was a good one, and I have been thinking of the right things I should ask for.

Back to hope, and courage. I sometimes worry about the negativity of life sucking up my hope. I see homeless people on the street or the subway, so many a day, and their lives seem lacking in so much hope that I begin to wonder...is reality even more negative than my small view of it? Well. I don't know the answer to that. But I do know, that it is far better to be a Pollyanna than a bummer bob. What If. Those two words elicit hope in any kind of darkness, the courage to keep going, and the motivation I need to continue towards my lofty goals....I know I'll reach them, and I am learning to love each moment it takes to get me there!!