Become Who You Are

My facebook feed seems to be filled with so many reflections on the past year, many of which span the full range of emotions. Some reflections are filled with  life's "highs" such as weddings, new jobs, babies, trips taken, etc. Other reflections express relief that 2014 is over, some with a hostility towards trials and challenges the year gave them. What stood out to me however, was the perspective that people had going into 2015. Every person with fresh courage taken, was optimistic, setting their sights and goals higher and raising their expectations for success and happiness in the New Year.

This morning I listened to a talk given several years ago by Gerald Causse, who talks about being the architect of your own happiness. It seems that challenges and trials, instead of successes, remind us of the opportunity we have to truly determine our own destiny and decide if we are becoming who we want to be.

This is how he describes happiness: "No, your happiness is not really the result of the circumstances of your life. It is much more the result of your spiritual vision and the principles upon which you base your life. These principles will bring you happiness regardless of the unexpected challenges and surprises you will inevitably face during your journeys here on earth."

Most of the reflections on 2014 that I saw seemed to be more centered around short-term circumstances. While events (ahem, my own marriage for example) can be sources of great joy, I like this talk because it reminds us that events don't bring lasting joy. Lasting joy comes from growing towards the person you are meant to be--both the fun and difficult kinds of growing.

For several years, around big holidays like Christmas, New Year's and birthdays, I looked at those dates as a sometimes sad reminder of how far I had left to fulfill in my own personal ambitions, how little I had accomplished in a year and, most unfortunately for me, I focused on what I still lacked in my life. Yet during that time, I grew and grew in ways that I can now see were tremendous moments of growth, learning and understanding that continue to help and guide me through life. How silly to think that I failed to accomplish very much and placed my sense of accomplishment on tangible things like the places I traveled, rather than the people I helped.

Causse gives some good principles to follow, that may as well be my New Year's resolutions for 2015:

1. Recognize your Personal Worth: "Often the feeling we have of our personal worth is based on the love and interest we receive from those around us. Yet this love is sometimes lacking. The love of men is often imperfect, incomplete, or selfish." I admit that so often I look to others for perfect love to base my happiness on, while ignoring my own imperfect expression of God's greatest gift. "Knowing that God knows us and loves us personally is like a light that illuminates our life and gives it meaning."

2. Become Who You Are: Brigham Young said: “The greatest lesson you can learn is to know yourselves. … You have to come here to learn this. … No being can thoroughly know himself, without understanding more or less of the things of God; neither can any being learn and understand the things of God without knowing himself: he must know himself, or he never can know God.” One of my favorite examples of this is in the Blind Side movie. I truly love that movie. Sandra Bullock's character is helping Michael pick out new clothes to wear and she says in order to determine whether he likes something, he needs to hold the item up to himself/imagine wearing it, and say "is this Me?" I think the same could be said of life decisions and choices we make-- Is this ME?-- and it's a continual process that I go through. Causse says, "If it were possible for you to receive a letter from your pre-earth life, what would it say?" The answer to that, is who you are and who you should try to become.

3. Trust in God's Promises: Ok this principle is both my favorite AND hardest to follow, which makes it a great resolution for 2015. Thomas S. Monson likes to say "the future is as bright as your faith," which also means that your faith and the success of your future, are strongly intertwined. Causse says on this, "I have noticed that the men and women who accomplish remarkable feats in life often have great confidence in their future from the earliest years of their youth. I believe that each one of you young members of the Church of Jesus Christ has far more than a star in the sky to guide you. God is watching over you and has made promises to you. These promises are tangible, and if we do our part, God will do His. I really like these words pronounced by Alma on the day he delivered the sacred records to his son Helaman:
“Remember, remember, my son Helaman… If ye keep the commandments of God, and do with these things which are sacred according to that which the Lord doth command you, … behold, no power of earth or hell can take them from you, for God is powerful to the fulfilling of all his words."

I'd say that's pretty visual when it comes to God fulfilling promises, and yet so often I forget or begin to doubt if those promises will occur, often reading my patriarchal blessing 5, 6 times in a row and wondering how patient I have to be. "Sometimes unexpected trials will present themselves that we must overcome; sometimes promised blessings will be long delayed. But the time will come when we will know that these trials and these delays were for our good and our eternal progression. What more can we ask?"

As 2015 begins and 2014 becomes just another year in history, I hope this new year (and my new year resolutions) will let me grow in gratitude, service, learning and happiness to help me become who I am.

Love,
Lo