Humble pie in the trenches

"We can never have enough of what we don't need, because what we don't need won't satisfy us." -quoted by Karen Zelnick, one of the smartest and kindest people I know

I'm often contradictory. If you ask a man he might say that's women in general. Like I love it when my life is simple...but I'd also like a dog (or two), a pair of cute teal pumps to go with my easter dress, more spring shirts and colored pants, sperrys either in blue or leather or both, a lemon tree, the entire pottery barn catalogue, satellite with ESPN, every season of Friends, more swimsuits (you Cannot have enough swimsuits, I am certain of this), a bigger closet (I'm already at maximum capacity here), trip(s) to the beach, a jetted bathtub, one of everything from lululemon, high quality kitchen knives, and a king size bed...just off the top of my head.

Lately things have not felt so simple. In fact it's felt like I'm in the trenches, putting in my time, many obligations, working hard, head down, nose to the grindstone, all that. This is an observation, not a complaint. I'm learning quickly and so much about myself. It's discouraging and rewarding at the same time, but mainly a lot of hard work. It's also easy to get thinking about all of those things that I think would make life so much more satisfying, the things I'm slaving away for.

I was at Trader Joe's yesterday, the grocery store is definitely my happy place. Walmart is another. I really hope they have both in heaven. I got my food for the next week and when I got to checkout I waited while the cashier unloaded my basket. When it came time to pay I was hit with a totally weird sensation--I could buy myself food. Wow that looks even weirder in writing but there it is...something so simple, so vital to survive, and I could buy it, by myself, like it was no problem. Suddenly I had the hugest smile, and an even bigger feeling of gratitude to be able to provide myself with such an important necessity such as food. Fun food at that, since I went for healthier options this grocery trip. It's all about appreciating the simple and small things in life, which is what I love most of all.

Simply yours,

Lolo

Sunday Funday

"You know what? Life is basically ridiculously hard. Except the harder you work at it the easier it looks." -My dad

So here I am. At work. 10 PM on a Sunday night. Which speaking of Sunday, it's my favorite day. Why? It's relaxing and at the same time spiritually exhausting. But I love it!! Today was a really good day...lots of support, lots of friends. And a lot of things that I really needed to hear. It's funny how the gospel works, I get so many prayers and questions answered...usually about things I didn't even realize I was struggling with. I'll say it again, best day of the week.

Yesterday, Pinewood derby. Alllllllllll of Manhattan turned out. Even ABC 4 news. I served up 5 or 6 hundred hot dogs. Since we are americans this amounted to 4 or 5 each for some people. Despite the calamity, awkward teen boys, and growling children (pretending to be monsters or tigers or both I suppose), it was such a great time. And it made me want to have all boys!!! haha never thought I'd say that, but there it is. At one point, the noise level got earsplitting, kids were screaming, crying, mashing chips into the carpet, and the guy next to me turns and says "doesn't this make you want to have kids?" I looked, ignored the noise, the mess, and saw it for what it was--fun memories, parents cheering on their kids like it was the olympics when they got the "whacky car award" after losing every race. I turned to James and said "Actually, Yeah. It really does. I can't wait!!" True story.