Life by Lauren: Pep Talk (A Long One)

"Two roads diverged in the woods, and I took the road less traveled...AND IT HURT MAN! Really bad! Rocks! Thorns! Glass! My pants broke! NOT COOL ROBERT FROST! But what if there really were two paths? I want to be on the one that leads to awesome." -Pep Talk from Kid President

Hands down, the best way to wake up is to a blue sky morning. It brings back memories of Costa. Every day there is a brilliant shade of blue, with shimmering heat by 9 AM. Mmmm some days I really miss it, the hardest decision I had to make all day was what swimsuit to wear. This weekend we got slammed by Storm Nemo (really? who names a snowstorm after a fish?), and then freezing rain set in for a good 24 hours straight leading into this week. But this morning it was azure blue skies!

I've been watching Kid President Pep Talk every morning. I hope, that when I have children they will be just like him--wanting to change the world and inspire the good in so many people. My team, your team, OUR TEAM. "You were made to be awesome. It's everybody's duty to do good, and give the world a reason to dance." My 6:30 AM trips to run at the gym are getting so much easier when I start out the day with this pep talk.

I came across a quote last week that stuck with me. "Coincidence is God's way of maintaining anonymous."-Albert Einstein. Too often I come across coincidences in my life, and fail to recognize them for what they are.

It all started last Monday. I got some news I wasn't expecting (not bad news, changes news), I mayyyyyy have panicked just a little (surprises are not my strong suit), and it was a rough day to say the least. In the middle of my personal struggles, I started a new book that night.

I recently discovered the NYPL's ebook collection. With a click of a button you can easily download books to any Kindle account, keeping it for 3 weeks instead of the library's usual 2-week policy. Even better, I can check out books for other people, and have them downloaded to their kindle! I quickly found three books I was interested in-two tennis biographies, and a historical fiction novel on Queen Isabel of Spain.

You could say it was a coincidence that I chose to read "Breaking Back" first, or you could say it was meant to happen. Breaking Back is James Blake's book on how he came back from a truly awful year. He broke his neck on the tennis court, found out his dad (his idol and superman) had cancer and died, and after giving the eulogy at his dad's funeral, he came down with a deadly virus known as zoster, that paralyzed half of his face. All in the span of a year.

The book sounds sad, right? I had never heard James' story before. Rather than a "woe is me/hatred towards life/ready to give up" attitude, every page in the book takes a glass half-full approach, an appreciation for the life he's given, and a silver lining insight on all of his problems.

My favorite part of the book, and something I've thought about every day since, is the story of how James learned to play tennis. Growing up, he'd go to tennis lessons, and would throw tantrums in front of his tennis instructor. He'd throw his racket, he'd yell, he'd hit the ball as hard as he could into the ceiling or the far wall.

Finally one day his instructor called him to the net after another tantrum. "James, what's going on with your life? Are you happy?" he asked. James didn't understand. "Yeah, sure." His instructor asked him why he was getting so upset about missing a forehand. James responded, "There's no reason to miss an easy forehand." His instructor pulled him aside and said, "Everyone misses forehands, it's part of the game."

When James felt like he was experiencing a setback, he would lose focus and get mad. "All my anger and frustration came from my desire to win, my wanting to get to the next level, but I couldn't focus on how I would achieve this." At this point in the book, I had the classic "OH CRAP" moment. He was describing me. Perfectly. I was so upset that week because I felt like I was nowhere closer to my goals than before. I was disappointed in myself, in my life, and I felt like my efforts were for nothing.

His instructor (who became his coach) told him not to worry about winning. Worry about getting better. And how do you get better? You work hard. It's a simple concept. You're still working towards a goal, but the goal is to work harder, get better. It essentially allows you to control your own success, it puts success in YOUR hands.

More importantly, I realized this is exactly how the gospel works. You aren't going to reach perfection, despite your best intentions. That's the entire point of the atonement!! So you work hard, work at your weaknesses, and you get better.

I've since adopted that mantra, it follows me every day. Work harder, get better. If something goes wrong, I think back to all the matches James still lost after putting in so much hard work. Then I get back to work, focused on doing better than my previous result.

It seems that my life's lesson for the week wasn't entirely over. Thursday was kind of my turning point. I broke down and told my dad the things I had been thinking about, the disappointments I felt, and in the back of my mind I wondered if God really knew how short my patience rope is. We're talking CANDLE WICK short. There's a reason my dad's ringtone is the Beach Boy's song "Don't Worry Baby." The guy can solve ANY problem, ANY time of day, and gives hands down the greatest advice. He listened to my venting, and responded in his trademark problem-solving way with assurance that no matter what, everything would work out.

A few moments later I got an email, no subject line, from one of my friends. She had taken time out of her incredibly busy day, to let me know how much she looked up to me. Not only did it come as a complete shock, but it meant a great deal coming from her, as she is someone that I truly look up to as well. I felt like it was an immediate and direct answer to that question I had asked God 30 min earlier. I went to make Valentines that night, and was again humbled. I was making Valentines for children that were sick, many through no fault of their own, and unable to spend the day with the ones they love. How petty my worries seemed in comparison.

After Grandpa Glenn called, I went to Trader Joe's to stock up on food for the "big storm." I was tired, it had been a long day, and as I stood in line, something caught my eye. A guy standing in the super long checkout line next to mine had on this jacket with a HUGE (I kid you not it was enormous) free mason symbol on the back. I thought it was so odd. I'd never seen anything like it. I kept staring as the lines moved, and as he pushed his cart I noticed a detail no one else had picked up on. His cart was empty. He was in the checkout line, with a giant cart, and it was empty. No, wait--there was a small black trash bag on the front shelf of the cart, and next to it was a jar of Trader Joe's peanut butter, along with a piece of paper.

I can't help it, I love a good mystery and this just didn't add up. It was obvious he felt out of place. I took a page out of the Mentalist and started really looking at him. His shoes were clearly old, scuffed, and his jeans had a few small tears. The jacket was huge on him, and he wore some kind of cheap polo shirt underneath it, with a pullover sweater. He didn't look old, maybe early 30s and his hair was closely cropped. There were holes in his ears where giant stud earrings could have been. Then I noticed his behavior. He was looking around, eyes wide, trying to take everything in. The closest thing I could think of was a kid at Disneyworld. Something would catch his eye and he'd leave his almost empty cart to walk over and study the price tag, before walking back. Keep in mind, Trader Joe's is probably the Least expensive grocery store in town. During one of his side trips to check out a carton of mushrooms, I trained my eyes on the piece of paper in his cart. It was a Trader Joe's employment application. He was applying for a job there. I looked up to see him debating on buying a carton of mushrooms--which were $1.25. And that's when it happened. My eyes welled up, annnnnnd...I was crying in the grocery store. After seeing the employment application and putting all of the pieces together, I felt such shame for my behavior of late. Compared to this man, my concerns were so incredibly minimal and insignificant, that I can't even begin to describe how ashamed I felt for my ungratefulness towards what I DID have in my life. I also felt like this was yet another way (coincidence if you so choose to believe) of God showing me that he does care about me, my needs, and my wants, of being blessed with so many important things I'd taken for granted. In that moment I have never cared less how much money was in my bank account or how much my trip to the grocery store would cost. I thought about asking the man if I could pay for his peanut butter and mushrooms, or better yet, to pick out a basket of food. But I also didn't want to draw attention, and he wasn't in the grocery store to beg for food. He was there to ask for a job.

So I watched him push his cart with two things, (they do have small baskets at the grocery store so I'm not sure why he chose the cart) and he disappeared out of view. Later, as I was paying, I watched him talk to the manager, holding his application. I so badly wanted to rush up and tell them to give him a job. Maybe the next time I walk into Trader Joe's I'll see him there, hard at work. But the real point of this story, and my reason for re-telling it is so that I never forget how I felt that day, and that when I am feeling down or frustrated with my own progress (because surely that happens from time to time), I can turn back to this post and remember that I have already made it so far, with so much to be grateful for!

Kid President ends his pep talk with his motivation to go out and be awesome.

James Blake said something similar, that I loved. When his dad died, he wanted a way that would make his dad, just like Superman, immortal. He thought about a tattoo, or a statue, but those things fade away or crumble. He decided that his way of making sure his father was immortal was to live life by his example, and when he had kids he would make sure that they lived by his example. The same would be true for their kids, and so on down the line. In that way, his father really would live forever.

I love that so much of the life I am living is a reflection of the positive examples of my grandparents, aunts and uncles, and my parents. My dad said it best this week in his own pep talk to the family, we are a family of individuals that are "unique, but unified."

It's a new week, new opportunities to work harder and get better, and make the world AWESOME.

Love,
Lo