what so proudly we hailed, at the twilight's last gleaming,
whose broad stripes and bright stars, through the perilous fight,
o'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming,
and the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
gave proof through the night, that our flag was still there,
Oh!!! say does that star spangled banner yet wave,
o'er the land of the free, and the home of the brave."
-Francis Scott Key
I added emphasis to the "oh" in the star spangled banner like only a true Orioles fan would sing it. I'm happy to say that my volleyball skills are in fact, improving. The only problem is that now, my little five foot four (and 5/7)-inch self is just dying to spike the ball. I keep having these brief yet brilliant hallucinations of me jumping three feet in the air and slamming the ball down on the other side, looks of shock and awe across my opponents' faces as my team showers me with high fives and war cries. Annnnd back to reality.
This week I discovered the amazing benefits of "white noise." My home teacher let me in on this little secret, called "ambience," and let me tell you I've never felt more calm or relaxed. Is it just me or does even the word "ambience" sound soothing?! Try saying it out loud...ahm-bee-ahnce. You feel better already! The sounds of rolling thunder and pitter pattering of rain have been playing as I happily work through my day. I'm amazed I didn't discover this sooner, for years I've used a fan to help me get to sleep, never realizing it could help at work too. There's a great website online that has white noise, so I like to rotate between beach waves, thunderstorms, and underwater dolphins. The underwater dolphins remind me of scuba diving, listening to myself breathe underwater and the sound of bubbles flowing out as I exhale. Namaste.
I finished the Best book this week!! I took so many notes that it took me twice as long to finish it. It's called "The Best Advice I Ever Got," by Katie Couric. Over 200 famous, influential people were asked to share what lessons they've learned in life/what advice they'd give others. Fascinating answers. Some were super long, they involved stories, anecdotes, lists. Others were mere sentences, or as in the case with the founder of Twitter, exactly 140 characters. Since there was no topic or theme, it's interesting to see what certain people chose to write about.
I had so many favorites that it's honestly hard to choose just one, but towards the end of the book I read a couple of unique responses. One was Jay Leno's. Jay was the only person that focused entirely on the subject of....marriage. And not just marriage, but on choosing a person to marry. He said the secret to the success of his 30-year marriage is that he married his conscience.
"I always say marry your conscience. Marry someone who you would want to be, someone who wants to help you be that better version of yourself. In Hollywood and just about everywhere else, you're constantly exposed to greed and pride and flattery and lust, and if you meet someone who likewise succumbs to those vices, well, then, you're just screwed. But if you choose to be with someone who says 'What?! You don't usually act like this. Why are you doing that?' then you have a pretty good chance of staying on the right path."
I love this idea of marrying someone that will keep you in check, recognize your flaws and work with you, not against you, to improve you and become a better person. And vice versa, like a team. I also like to think of this as tough love, because sometimes constructive criticism/help doesn't always go over that well, but it's growth. As I'm learning in my own life, growth can sometimes feel uncomfortable and at times painful. In order to have a relationship like that, I think you have to become good at giving. Mitch Albom, the man who wrote "Tuesdays with Morrie"wrote his response on giving. When Morrie was dying, people came to see him, to say goodbye. Rather than talk about himself, Morrie asked them about their problems, life, and continued to put his focus on them and be a good listener. As Morrie puts it, "Giving makes me feel like I'm living." When you most want to feel alive, the things you gave will be the things that return. Coincidentally, a large number of people- Dr. Oz, Steven Spielberg, Larry King- wrote on the importance of listening.
Lastly, Malcolm Gladwell gave an interesting response called "Don't turn on Your Greatest Asset." He gave examples of how when things go wrong, in moments of crisis and desperation, we often turn on our greatest asset. That asset could be another person, a trait within ourselves, or an object. "That which we do best is the most visible and the most scrutinized thing about us, so it is almost inevitable that when times get hard it's the aspect of our lives that we fixate on-for better but mostly for worse. I've seen relationships falter in bad times, not because they were weak, but because they were strong." I've never quite thought about it like this, but when I look back on crises or difficult moments in my own life, I've often tried to change or eliminate what are sometimes my greatest assets, partly because I got scared. I understand what he's referring to, and he makes a good point. Don't turn on your greatest asset.
It goes without saying (but hey, I'll say it anyways) that I've mastered None of the advice in this book. Not Even Close. On the bright side, it's given me ideas for things to work on in myself. I love having things to work on and improve. I'll post my notes from the book to my other blog shortly, and you can read short excerpts from what each person wrote as their advice. More than anything, I loved this book because it reminded me that no matter what age, what circumstance I'm in, I have the ability to change and to be whoever I want to be. I'm eternally grateful for that agency to choose-- choose to be better, choose to make a difference, and choose to change. Choose The Right. Our potential shifts, changes, grows, lives, within each of us, and it's a wonderful thing.
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