Is This Me?

“I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”-Michael Jordan

Be Like Mike Gatorade Ad

If the YouTube video doesn't work, click on the "Be Like Mike Gatorade Ad" text above. Some things really stick in my head, and at random times I find myself remembering them. Take this Gatorade commercial, I happen to love all sports commercials. Maybe another time I'll post the Ronaldo vs. Nadal soccer tennis commercial, it is SO COOL. But the MJ commercial is kind of a legend, I mean who doesn't want to be like Mike?! The guy is an icon. I read Chicken Soup for the Sports Fan's Soul (definite keeper for the bookshelf) and there are awesome stories about MJ, how he played street ball with some young inner city kids in Chicago after his games, he would check up on them and they'd have to bring him their report cards; he not only was focused on becoming great himself but on helping others believe in themselves to be great. He's had some tough moments. But don't we all.

One of my favorite movies is The Blind Side. Since we've previously established that I'm an excellent motivator, this should not come as a surprise that I consider Leigh Ann Tuohy (played by Sandra Bullock) to be my movie twin. We cheerleaders think and act alike. Lately, this line from the movie keeps coming back to me....Leigh Ann and Michael are shopping for clothes at the Big & Tall, and she's trying to help him pick out something. Her advice is "Before you choose something, think of yourself wearing it. And say to yourself, 'Is This Me?'" Is This Me. That phrase has been playing through my head on repeat this week.

Every Sunday I review my week and try to come up with some things that I've learned. What did I learn? How can I improve the next week? What should I be doing more of? This week's lesson is a little hard for me to share, it's personal and I don't usually like to get super personal. But it's also an important thing for me to acknowledge about myself. Some decisions are clear cut, totally obvious that this thing is ME, that it falls in line with who I am. Other times, not so much.

Truth be told, I have been dying to take swing dance lessons. My gym even offers them for free, along with tango, ballroom, salsa and other latin dance lessons. I tried persuading my entire office, to see if anyone would go with me. Nope! NO ONE. Every Monday I would tell myself, ok, tonight you are going to go. And then I would chicken out. Why? I love swing dancing! I love trying new things! I LOVE DANCING. Then the opportunity came, I was supposed to go swing dancing with my roommate Rebecca and a group of people. FINALLY I'd go! When Thursday rolled around, I was coming up with every excuse there was as to why I couldn't go-sore throat, dizziness, not in the mood, I had to be in bed early, etc. I had myself CONVINCED that I really didn't want to do this. Rebecca however, patiently waited after I'd given 20 reasons why I couldn't go, and then somehow convinced me that I was going.

Alright. So we show up. The whole way there, I'm terrified out of my mind what this will be like. I'm going to suck, I just know it. I'm going to have to dance with some weirdo guy, or better yet I'll be so bad none of the guys will want to dance with me. To solve this fear, I had made sure that James was coming. James taught me how to country dance, he already knows my skill level and he's a great dancer, so I figured at least I got that covered. We get to "Club 412" and it turns out it's NOT a club, it's a dance studio. Ohhh boy. I was dressed up in a black flowy dress, heels, and tights (Clubbing attire, Hellooo!). Everyone else was in jeans and sneakers, including my roommate (how Could I have Missed this?!). To make matters worse, the lighting and mirrors lining the walls made my dress look see-through. At this point, I'm ready to RUN not walk, to the nearest exit. I'm frantically thinking up excuses as to why I can't stay. I literally dread these super uncomfortable moments. Then James texts that he's stuck at work for another two hours. CRAP. There goes my dance partner. I am Officially out of my element because it's not like I can dance with Rebecca (no wait, embarrassingly enough I DID suggest that but she said she wouldn't be the lead). So the first hour is a lesson on how to swing dance. We practice getting our "rhythm" and get randomly paired up with partners. When I'm super uncomfortable doing something, I tend to either Remove myself from the Situation (this wasn't an option) or get super giggly and smiley-faced (bingo!). I had this kind of crazy grin on my face as I introduced myself to my partner. After 15 minutes, the uncomfortable feeling was cut in half, and I was chatting up a storm with every guy I danced with. There was an adorable British guy that was positively hilarious. When the lesson ended, the real dancing began. I've never had so much FUN!! Some guys were totally amazing, teaching me the charleston, spinning me a million different ways and all I had to do was just follow along. I couldn't BELIEVE I had thought I'd hate this. I couldn't wait to go back!

Fast forward to the next night. Yet again, I had failed to accurately understand what I had agreed to. I was supposed to go out dancing for my friend's bachelorette party. What I Didn't realize until the morning of, is that I was attending a dance class. No wait, a POLE DANCE class. Oh. Hunh. You know, I watched this news segment on the popularity of pole dancing as a form of exercise and I admit, I was totally intrigued. But never followed up on that. Friday night, I'm starting to get that uncomfortable "maybe this isn't me" feeling. The nervous grin is starting to make a comeback. I show up to the dance studio, and there's already a pole dance class in session. Pinned to the wall are TEENY TINY spandex booty shorts, that they recommend for proper pole dance attire. Cue the nervous giggles. Almost everyone else in the party showed up wearing spandex pants like I was, we passed on the booty shorts. Second night in a row I am feeling SO out of my element. Except that, it turned out, the class was a blast. I did NOT fall flat on my face like I was certain would happen. I was actually kinda good at it! (Don't worry family, I'm not considering a career change.) Once again, I found myself having the best time of my life. I had worried for nothing, I loved it! It also helped that we were all amateurs in the class.

So what did I learn this week. Well, I learned that sadly, I talk myself out of things when my confidence wanes. I give into a fear of failure, rather than embrace it and give it a shot. I would have never realized I love dance classes, if I hadn't gone. How many other things have I shied away from, that could have been fun and amazing experiences? There's a talk by Elder Holland that I've been obsessed with. It's called "Cast Not Therefore Away Your Confidence." It's about people that give into their doubts, their fears, and let it talk them out of really neat and good experiences. They get led into thinking, maybe this isn't what they truly want. Obviously Elder Holland is referring to more serious experiences like serving a mission, or getting married, or switching careers. But I think it applies to a lot of things. Things that at the time seem so awesome, and then as the time gets closer and closer (I'm thinking of the minutes before my dance classes), I start to panic and talk myself out of it. I need to give more things that interest me, a try before I run away. My fear of failure, of being uncomfortable, should NOT talk me out of something that could prove to be great. That's why I like that Michael Jordan quote on failure so much. BE LIKE MIKE!! If I fail, make a big mistake, it should be because I tried. Not because I was too scared to go through with something. Is This Me? It turns out, a lot of things are Me, more than I realized.

P.S. I signed up for a subscription to get the ensign ($10 bucks, you Can't beat that) and FINALLY it arrived with all of the conference talks. Made. My. Week. Check out page 76 to see Price Foulger, what a stud!